John,
its me. I’ve been thinking again. Don’t hate me. I know we talked but there were things I couldn’t say, should’ve said, but didn’t say.
Dane, oh, he’s the other guy…. is dangerous. I think I like that. the possibilities I see for he and I are new and exciting. Dangerous. they go along with the person I want to become. The happiness I want to share. as for the sadness that comes along with it, well I think that its worth it.
As for you and I, I’m sorry, but the possibilities that have presented themselves dont make me happy or excited. The things that we MIGHT share, well, I’m just not so sure its worth it. I think I’m ready to cut my losses and call it quits. & you are so right about what you said. We could make it work. I just don’t want to. I’m sorry you cant convince me, and actually sorry for many other things as well. I’m sorry that my brand of love for you, requires I leave. I’m sorry I have to be the bad guy, or girl. Im sorry that I’d rather be labeled a quitter and a bad person than given credit for trying. I wish in the past I would’ve just been more forefront. I was with everyone but you. I wanted to, I just couldn’t allow myself to. I was afraid to push it i didn’t want to change you. Also I wish you would’ve said what you held in. Silence speaks volumes, but not necessarily of the right things. I read into the silence but reading it and hearing what you meant were two completely different things. Had I known what you meant. We would be so far away from this point right now.
I don’t know if HE is next on this path of mine. I just know that i want more than YOU and I. I can’t stay in this place.
Sedentary is not good for me, and your reluctance to shake things up, move, or even turn over…..
well…
I’m sorry that it fits you so well. I’m sorry you can’t see any other existence.
Sorry love.
Really.
i am.
i swear it.
-Julienne
ahem.
I would’ve loved for you to open up to me at some point.
you are so, so guarded.
No emotion,
or anything.
I needed something.
just a little something would’ve done.
& I really would’ve loved for you to love me back,
back when I still cared.
maybe i still would.
i wouldve loved for you to give me reason
*drops mic*
**exits stage left**
1. At least 5 people in this world, love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you, in some way.
3. The only reason everyone would ever hate you, is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.
5. Every night, someone thinks about you they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. Without you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique, in your own way.
9. Someone that you don’t know event exist, loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned it’s back on you, take a look, you most likely turned you back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won’t get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.
13. Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will fell much better when they know and in the end you’ll be glad you did.
14. Always remember complements you received, forget about the rude remarks. You will go through this life peacefully without grudge.
Dear John,
I’m sorry before hand, but I really think its time to call this quits. In this case, its not you, its me. I wanted to be in love with you. I waited for to be in love with me. I tried to for so long. i tried so hard. especially because you have done nothing worth the pain that will probably come with this.
before i saw my staying with you as an act of selflessness, being that i was willing to give up my own wants to
but it was selfishness. i didnt want to feel like i caused you pain. i didnt want to break your heart.
i know better now. & im sorry. i thought maybe if we tried, it might work. but i justdont feel it, i dont think ill ever feel it. im sorry for that. it wasnt anything you shoudlve done or couldve done or didnt do. im just unhappy. and to try to get you to change would be selfish upon selfish. just ’cause im more than sure that i wont feel how i want you to feel about me, about you.
im so sorry.
really.
words cant express it.
-Julienne
im back again!
hopefully for good this time.
Anywho, I was browsing the good old Google Reader and I saw a FML that kinda just made my morning. Reading about someone else and their awkward/uncomfortable moments make mine seem less in number. Does that make me a bad person?
:\
Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn’t shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML
Oh. btw, did you know that there are sites like FML but for GOOD days? I found that I don’t like those so much. They are a lot less entertaining, and not really at all enlightening. I quickly unsubscribed. Should it bother me that other peoples frustration is entertaining?
:\ Just something to think about.
http://mylifeisaverage.com/
http://www.lmylife.com/
So, I know havent been writting. Just posting music every now and then. Im not even doing that well, but ive been doing the school and work thing. this stuff is eating me alive.
any way, I really needed a laugh so I got out this track. Its by this kid named G- Eazy, hes from the bay, but goes to Loyola. { yay for New Orleans!}. Thats honestly all I know about him. I heard about him from a friend of mine who rapped on a song with him… or something to that effect. Bottom line, i heard about him.
anywho, he actually makes some pretty sweet tracks. but like I said, I needed a laugh. ‘i put a twenty in that thang, and bout 5000 quarters pop out. quaters for EVERYbody. the floor just be silver! SILVER NICCA!’
lol.
